THE AAC BOOK OF PUBS TO AVOID IN SCOTLAND

AAC Publishing is an imprint that encourages motorists to celebrate the natural unspoilt beauty of the British countryside from the safety and comfort of their Peugeots. Among their forthcoming books are 'Penetrating Wales', 'The Illustrated Book of Discreet New Forest Car Parks', 'Britain's Best Coastal Hard Shoulders' and 'The AAC Book Of Pubs To Avoid In Scotland'. Among the unnecessarily hostile hostelries delineated within its 224 illuminating pages are the following:

THE CLOVEN HEAD, Dunwhool
A messy welcome awaits anyone with more than four teeth in this remorseless 19th Century boozer. They say the place is cursed by the souls of pagan virgins who were sacrificed by druids in the garden area, but that was in 1996 and this pub's been rough since it was built. The gents toilet was recently cobbled. Some say they actually eat dead babies.

THE MILKMAID IN LEGIRONS, Mungfurnock
THE WHITE HOLE, Bellow-on-the-Prank
THE SEVERED ARMS, Hoobles
THE BASTARD AND SHARP KNIFE, Deadburgh
THE RISING SHITE, Bollokin
THE CROSS LIMBS, John O'Guts
THE BLOODY HELL!, Manbroth
THE THUMPING COCKS, Splitkirk